My heart is full. Less than a year ago, I would never have believed it possible, but the old adage that time heals is so very true. I would just change the wording a little--God heals through time. The heart that was so broken has become whole again and is able to be filled once more like the vessel it was intended to be. Still fragile and maybe a little flawed, but nevertheless capable of being filled with joy and hope and faith.That is remarkable to me.
I know that these past ten months have been a preparation time for me as well as a time of healing. As I get ready to go back to Mexico, I look back at this time and realize that not only have grown in my spirit, but also in understanding and forgiveness to people who have hurt me. It is very freeing to come to that realization. In some ways, I believe it allows my heart to hold even more joy and compassion. I can allow it to overflow and cover a friend whose own heart is breaking, or be a good listener to someone who is struggling with a difficult decision, or just open my arms and hug a child at dance who values my love and approval. I know that God loves me even more when I share my own once-broken heart with others. He has given me plenty to share and replaces what I share ten-fold or even a hundred-fold.
Lately, I am feeling butterflies again for the first time in years. Maybe it is the first stirrings of spring fever and the anticipation of seeing those precious brown-eyed children again. Maybe it's just recognizing that my life is so full of blessings, big and small. My beautiful children, my cozy albeit cluttered little home, work that I love, parents and sisters who love me, friends who are my chosen family and tell me the truth, special people that God places in my life who help to make me feel hopeful and happy and whole.
As I travel to Nava next weekend, I covet your prayers and your encouragement. A lot of what I see there is heart-rending, but I know this time I am a little bit stronger and a little more prepared. My heart is full and my butterflies are fluttering...